What took you so long?
What took you so long?
I was very excited as last weekend, I dared to swim in the 8Ft deep pool in my house. Learning swimming in the early years of 40 is not an easy task. I swam for 5–10 minutes only but certainly; my confidence has increased since then. I was exhilarated with joy, and it was a celebration moment for me. Last year, 2021 I began to learn to swim in my pool, but I couldn’t gather the courage to go into the deep side. But this year was different. It was in my mind, and I was determined to achieve that.
After fulfilling my dream, I shared my happiness with some of my friends. All were happy for me but one of them asked “why did you take so long to do it”. I was on cloud 9 until then but on reading this comment, my happiness dropped for a moment. Instead of being part of my celebration, I was quizzed, why did I take so long to reach there? I wasn’t sure if I should’ve been happy that finally I made it or if I should ponder, why did I take so long.
We all live with many dreams and goals in our minds. Imagine, if you try to fulfill everything or even half of them on the scale of time, how is your life going to be? You will always be chasing one goal after another. Not only that, but you will also always be battling against time. No matter what you would do, time won’t be enough to achieve all of them. You will be frustrated if you try to have it all. It is not possible by any means. To make it easy, we should learn to prioritize our goals. This way we know what makes sense for us to go after immediately vs later. Prioritization helps to reduce the unnecessary stress in mind. But when you pick and choose something will be left behind. I doubt anybody in this world could have it all in their life.
Prioritization leads to focusing on things you would like to do, fulfill, or achieve in short term. However, I don’t think one needs to become crazy and aggressive to accomplish that. Perseverance is more important than working crazy hours nonstop. If you can and if that makes you happy and satisfied, then why not? But not at the cost of your inner peace, and happiness and disturbing the whole ecosystem around you. You need to weigh in your options, give and take of life and then decide. You don’t want to burn out for achieving one thing in your life.
I’m the kind of person who always has multiple things going in parallel. I enjoy being like that. This is me and I am proud of who am I. For a person like me, prioritization helps to a certain extent only. At any given moment, I am pursuing three to four goals of my life, and all are important to me. But for each of these goals, if I start using a time scale, I will be more worried, and stressed out. I like to sail at my own pace. There is only one life and I have understood that everything can’t be time-bound. Time is running constantly. When you strive towards your goals at your own pace and time, the whole journey is memorable. You get a chance to enjoy every single moment of this ride. Rather than getting agitated and struggling to meet goals under that strict limit, you are always cheerful and radiate positivity. You contend, grow, and continue to move ahead. You are in control of your life and decide the time when you wish to achieve it.
I wondered why some people measured success and happiness based on a timeline. In the minds of such people, everything has a deadline. If you achieve that goal within that time limit, you are successful and an achiever. If you make it later, then the same question “What took you so long”? Ridiculous! Well, you didn’t take long, perhaps you were balancing the other things which are equally crucial in your life.
I got married at the age of 27 and some of our family friends and relatives commented, what took her so long to settle down? Then I had my first and only kid at the age of 30. And some have said to me many times, what took you so long to have your first one? I did my Executive MBA when I turned 34. What took me so long to decide on MBA? It took me 10 years to decide if I should join the Toastmaster club to work on my communication skills. There are many such examples and I think there is no end to it. If you know the story of Col. Sanders, he was an entrepreneur who didn’t become a professional chef until he was 40, didn’t franchise Kentucky Fried Chicken until he was 62, and didn’t become an icon until after he sold his company at 75. What took him so long?
I had my fears to conquer, my constant illness, and other priorities in life took precedence over swimming. I had a dream to learn swimming when I was just 10 years old. I tried to learn many times but somehow it never happened. However,I just want to share a message, if you continue working and growing, just ignore such questions or remarks by others that “what is taking so long”? Celebrate the moment when you fulfill your dream. Even if you don’t, be happy that you at least tried. People around you will try to pull you down and make you doubt yourself by stating that you took a long to decide and act. Especially, if you fail, there will be a barrage of comments from all around like you should have started early or time it right. Failure or success is just the outcome. Even if you fail, you continue to grow. Just continue to work at your own pace & evolve and leave the worry behind, “Why are you taking so long”.
