“Networking is not collecting contacts. Networking is about planting relationships.”

It was my first, big and complex Greenfield implementation project in the US. I was leading the design to build Global credit and billing solution for my client as a consultant. Great, exciting work and I was playing a critical role in the project. But the team size was 150 plus consultants plus 100 plus involved from the client side. We finished the first system Integration Test cycle after stretching for weeks. It was quite a milestone for such a complex project. The consulting partners and project managers planned a big celebration event along with our client. I still remember the party was planned in PF Chang, a famous Chinese restaurant. It was the year 2007. I was still in my office and contemplating in my head if I should go to the event or not. I was a bit tired after a long day at the office and just wanted to go home and relax. I was almost ready to leave for home, suddenly my team lead came toward me and asked, “I hope you are coming to the party tonight”. A tired face appeared on my face, and I replied, “I’m planning to skip”. She got furious to hear that and advised me to come. Her words still echo in my head. She said, “You are working so hard, and you need to be visible to leadership”. And it’s your responsibility to network with Seniors and speaks about the same”. I was surprised to hear that. I must admit, I wasn’t sure what she was talking about. I was slogging for that project. There were many new things that I had to learn before I could offer to my client. So, imagine the amount of stress and hard work involved. And here this lady was saying, I needed to talk about my work. I was like, how come the Seniors or my PM didn’t know what I was working on? Anyways, she insisted a lot to come to the party and finally I agreed. However, I was completely unaware of the importance of networking. Making friends with peers and juniors had always been easy for me. I am a social bee and rarely struggle to approach and connect with peers and colleagues. But I never felt I needed to network and connect with Seniors too. I was from the old school of thought where I believed, that if you work hard, the work will speak for you.

I went to the party and as usual was with my group. My lead came to me and pulled me to meet partners and Senior managers. On the way, she told me I should be spending more time with Seniors, especially in such a gathering. Well, I still didn’t get her. However, I met Sr. Managers and talked a little about my work too. Then I was back with my friends. The moment I was back in my group, I was happy and comfortable. I discussed this incident with my friends to understand her perspective. One of my close friends explained to me the purpose of doing the same. It is called strategic networking and it is quite critical in the corporate world especially if you would like to grow. Business networking is connecting with various groups of people to exchange ideas and information. In the corporate world, you can say networking is building more acquaintances, and relationships with Seniors. It does provide you with a great opportunity to showcase what you have to offer. But I thought it was quite manipulative and insincere. Moreover, I felt you need to be an ultra-confident and extrovert to do the same, and that I wasn’t for sure. For a long, I had struggled to network effectively with Seniors. Being a woman, it is difficult to break the inhibition and work always takes precedence over parties, gatherings, or say business networking.

As I rang on the ladder of my career, I realized the importance of Networking. I’ve seen how well-connected men grow rapidly in the organization. Their work is visible and becomes the talk of the town like the fire spreads. Simultaneously I also realized the hesitation and limitations felt by many women to network. “It’s self-serving, not authentic, and political”- that’s what most women believe in. Many women even in leadership resist networking. I think women are hardwired to have deeper, true, and more authentic connections. We don’t believe in the transactional relationship at least many of us. But it is proven that having the right network is the real differentiator. Ignoring networks can damage or limit your career and leadership effectiveness — and this is true for both men and women. A McKinsey study found that 50% of a company’s intellectual capital is a “relational asset” and 75% of individual capital is their relationships. And leaders with the right kinds of networks are likely to be high performers. A networking event can be tedious and awkward. But according to LinkedIn, 85 percent of jobs are filled through networking, which means this activity ultimately benefits us in the long term. No doubt, it is imperative to have connections and friends, if you would like to grow in any organization. Based on my experiences and lessons learned, I will share a few tips, especially for women to network and why it is important.

1. Get rid of the negative connotation that Networking is only for getting promotions or landing jobs. Networking is for building true relationships, connections, and learning from each other as well. Approach each interaction at a Networking event or otherwise as a learning opportunity. The way you will see it, you will behave and receive in return too. You never know if you can get a good friend for a lifetime through Networking.
2. Like family, kids, and home are important in life, so is Networking, E.g., when you move to a new house in a new place, you try to build a relationship with neighbors to ensure you have all the required information and help available when needed. Correct? Networking is the same in the workplace. Break the self-imposed barriers, trust your abilities, and focus on strategic Networking. Women are naturally gifted to build bonds and carry out an endless conversations. Then why don’t we use the same talent at the workplace?
3. Believe in yourself and the work you are doing. We women always feel less of ourselves. We feel we are not contributing enough to the big picture to talk about or discuss with Seniors. Trust me, every individual of an organization contributes to the overall success of a company. It is just a matter of realizing your value and learning to articulate the same to others.
4. Please don’t miss office parties and events. Take the first step and make it a priority to attend social gatherings. I know we have a lot to take care of at home and at the workplace. Believe me, household chores will never be finished, no matter how hard you work. Similarly, please understand, that you won’t become a horrible or careless mother if you leave your kids to your husband or a babysitter for one evening or couple of hours. You deserve this break and use the same for your personal and professional growth.
5. Avoid hanging out with your group only at a party. Try to strike up a conversation with strangers, especially seniors, and spend some time to know them. You may discuss your favorite hobbies or any other activities you may like to do. Don’t just engage in work-related conversation. Many have given me the advice to have lunch with different people in the office to grow my network. I still find it difficult as I prefer to eat with my friends. But it is a great way to connect and meet new people.
6. Lastly, please practice your introduction for one to three minutes. This is very useful especially when you meet Seniors at parties. You will not get much time to talk about yourself. Treat your introduction as an elevator pitch, practice, and always be ready with one.

Recently, I had to attend an official event in Chicago downtown in the evening. The venue was almost 40 miles away from my home. I was new in that company and didn’t know many people. Therefore, it was a great opportunity for me to connect with Seniors and other colleagues in the organization. I took the first step and registered for that event. But the next day I got a cold feeling towards it. I was constantly debating in my head if I should attend or not. I didn’t know anyone who was going to be in the happy hour. I asked my manager if he would be attending the event. Unfortunately, he lived in a different city. But then I remembered some of the tips I have listed above and decided to go for it. I dressed to my best and went to the event. When I reached there, I was lost. I had no one to talk with. My boss, who lives in a different city, had suggested to me the names of two Sr. people to connect with. I had seen their pics in the HR portal, but it was so difficult to find them in a crowd of 200 people. The party was arranged on a Terrace. After 5 minutes, I started feeling low. When I looked around, everybody was engaged in a conversation within their group. All were busy cracking jokes or just swaying their body to light music with their friends. Here, I was all by myself, and I had no clue what the hell I should do. I decided to get a drink for myself so that I could at least calm down. I spent some time on my phone and texted my friends and a few likes on Facebook. But soon I got bored with it, especially in that environment.

There was a corner on the terrace, where some games were going on. To kill my time, I decided to go there to watch others playing. It was better than standing alone and doing nothing. I spend some 15 -20 minutes there. I saw a couple of people who were standing alone, and I thought of striking up a conversation. However, I was feeling very awkward approaching someone and talking. I think we women get more conscious about it. Because I didn’t want to give a feeling to anyone, especially to men that I was hitting on them. I was desperately looking for a woman, who was alone, and I could talk to her. When I looked around, all the women were busy with their hives. I tried to look for the people, my manager told me to meet them. But I couldn’t find them in the crowd. I was almost ready to wrap this up and ready to head back home. I was disappointed and was cursing in my head why the hell I planned to come here.

I turned to my left to leave and there I saw a lady standing next to me and texting swiftly. I got a hunch that she might be alone. Even I spend a lot of time on the phone when I am alone and nervous. Like I was at that party. Suddenly she looked at me and said, “hello”, smilingly. I smiled back and without losing further, I introduced myself to her. Well, I got to know she was in the company for the last 20 years. That’s it! After that, we were together at a party for the next one hour and discovered many common interests between us. She also helped me to find the Seniors as advised by my manager. I could meet them and get introduced. I didn’t realize, where the time flew. By the end of the two hours, I was glad I had made a friend and forged a few connections. It wasn’t that difficult after all. Isn’t it? I was glad that I followed my tips and went to that party. What do you think?