Dreams influences decisions in life”

Imagine you saw a dream in the past. A dream, you always wanted to achieve but for some reason, it never materialized. Then with time, you forgot about it. You gave up thinking as it was not in your reach to fulfill your destiny. You moved on with your life and years go by. Unexpectedly, after waiting for so long, you get a chance to fulfill your dream. However, circumstances are not conducive, and you must make some tough decisions in life. What if you needed to choose between your old, nurtured dream and your health? What would you do?

I was in a similar dilemma just 4 weeks back when I was down with Covid. I am quite a fit& healthy person and regularly do my 10K steps and yoga or cardio exercises. Touchwood! My annual health report has always been good too. I usually bounce back quickly after sickness. But this Covid illness, symptoms were quite different and I’m still going through the after-effects.

First, my husband got down with Covid. Not sure, from where did he get it. We all did the Test at home, and he only came positive. He had mild symptoms but terrible body aches and rough throat. He isolated himself in a guest bedroom and I was the one who was taking care of him. It was quite difficult to manage the whole situation, especially being in the same house. But I was ready to cross this phase of life. I just needed to ensure my son was safe and didn’t come in contact with him. He has a habit of hugging his mom and dad all the time. Considering my fitness, I was so overconfident and positive that at times I will drop food in his room, without wearing the mask. I was sure, nothing will happen to me, I was certain about my immunity and health.

Anyways, 4 days passed, and he started improving. However, on the fifth day of his improvement, I had a scratchy, rough throat. I got scared. I was feeling a little chilly, but the temperature was normal. The next day was my division-level International Speech Contest. I grew worried. I took Covid Testing at home, and it came negative. I was relieved. I kept on drinking hot water and practicing my speech. I was getting exhausted fast. I knew something was wrong with me. But I did not want to think about it as I was focused on my speech and my husband whom I had to take care of. He was still in isolation and recovering. Lest I knew, I would be getting a wonderful surprise soon.

The same night, my boss called me. He asked, “did you read my email?” I said, “no”. Then he said, “you are going to Sapphire, Orlando, and had the budget approved by CIO”. I went silent to hear that. He advised me to do the registration & bookings fast as the event was just 2 weeks away. I was in dilemma — I didn’t know what to do. The next day was my speech contest and I know something is going wrong inside me. If I would get Covid the recovery might take more than 2 weeks. On the other side, my husband was recovering. I was happy but worried. I always wanted to go to Sapphire, but I never expected the opportunity will come to me like this.

Going to Sapphire was one of my longest nurtured dreams, since I started my SAP career, way back in 2003. I have heard so much about it but never got a chance to visit. Sadly, my health was not supportive when I got the opportunity. Sapphire is an SAP event, usually organized every year in Orlando. In the event, SAP announces the next upcoming product improvements in the SAP space, and what is their focus areas. You discover how to transform your business with the advancements SAP is bringing. More than ten thousand people participate including partners, system integrators, sponsors, and customers. They share their success or failure stories as well. If you love technology, a lot to learn and experience in just 3 days. Especially this year Sapphire was happening after 2 years of gap, post-pandemic. I desperately wanted to attend this event. Well, I decided to focus on my speech contest first and then take a call on this. Despite rough throat, and aching muscles, I gave my speech the next day and won the contest. I was super happy and excited. I forgot about my illness for some time after my win. I thought all would be fine. But life throws the curveball. On the same night, I was down with a high fever. I took Tylenol in the night and in the morning, I did the Covid Test again, and fortunately, I was negative. But throat was itchy, and rough, no energy in the body, and this fever streak was not breaking. I thought it must be the flu. I was sorry for my husband, as he started taking care of me immediately after his 6 days of quarantine. I took 2 days off from work. My whole body and muscles were aching. High fever, throat infection and I was unable to eat properly. There was hardly any energy left in my body. I was wondering what happened to my confidence in being healthy. I had been sick, but this fever and chills were different. The moment, the medicine effect was over, I would get chills. Those chills just shook my entire body. I remember calling my husband one night to ask for fever medicine and food. I was worn out that I had no energy to take medication on my own that was kept near my bedside.

I was worried for my son, and we have asked him to be in his room only. I know my son; he has a habit of hugging and kissing me now and then. Every day, before going to school, after coming from school, before sleeping, after waking up he would hug me. I was missing all that. I was lying on the bed thinking about what happened to my confidence in my health. More than my health, I was thinking about my Sapphire dream. Sapphire was my dream, I nurtured it for more than 18 years. I thought I will never get an opportunity to fulfill the same. It is expensive but It’s a lifetime experience and you get to meet and network with so many people. My Boss reminded me to do the Sapphire registration again via text the next day.

My condition was not great but my dream of going to Sapphire was very intense. The next day, I planned to visit the doctor as the tests were negative, but my fever and chills were still there. He checked me and I went through the RT PCR test. I was sure, it would be a Flu or some kind of viral infection. The doctor prescribed a few medicines and asked me to start antibiotics only if reports come negative. I came back home and was feeling exhausted but happy from within. I opened my laptop and started working on my emails. My heart was singing, it’s a beautiful day and I thought I’d started recovering.

As you know, life is crazy unpredictable and what you don’t expect, would happen. In the evening, my report came covid positive, and I had a SARS infection. I had a terrible cough and fever. I got disappointed and was worried if I would be able to travel to Orlando within a few days. As per doctor and CDC guidelines, you can be mobile after 5 days if you are vaccinated as you won’t be contagious anymore. But you must see your health and stamina as 5 days won’t be enough to recover. This Covid is such an infection that it leaves you weak, languid as I had seen with my husband too. So, recovery could take time.

But I was determined to fulfill my dreams, no matter what. The same night, I tested Covid positive, and I booked my hotel. For the flights I took time but when my colleagues and friends confirmed their booking, I decided to take the plunge. I decided, no matter what I must go to Sapphire and live this experience. I took medicines, as the doc told me, sipped hot water, and tried my best to take care of myself. Despite that, fatigue and exhaustion were there. The coughing bout also started, which was annoying.

Finally, in a week, I did take the flight to Orlando and attended Sapphire. My throat infection was still there, my voice was still rough. But I wasn’t infectious to anyone. By the end of the day, I was exhausted from roaming from booth to booth, listening to amazing speakers. But I made it and lived my dream. I had no regrets about doing the same. Indeed, it was one of the most valuable experiences of my life. Evenings were not great, especially after the entire day’s drill but it was okay.

From my varied experiences in life, I have learned one thing you need to be a dreamer and be passionate to fulfill it. Unless you dream, it will never come true. If you want something, it will happen eventually. It may take some time but do not lose hope. And it is quite possible, that you might have to take a tough decision to fulfill your dream. So what? Go for it! Because it is precisely the tough decision that transforms us the most, those that make us progress, grow, evolve, & vibrate. As someone has said — “Nurture your Dream every day. A strong dream will empower you to take bold decisions and allow you to follow your heart.

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Consultant, Program Manager, Enthusiast learner, blogger, fitness freak

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Shweta Gupta

Shweta Gupta

Consultant, Program Manager, Enthusiast learner, blogger, fitness freak

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